Instant gratification is just boring. Which is why Columbia decided not to give me a real answer and made me wait until now. But I forgive easily, especially after seeing the “Congratulations” on my application status this morning.
I’m in! Clearly today will be an unproductive day.
Happy Valentines Day to you too, Columbia.
I gave myself about two days to do absolutely nothing besides enjoy the thought that I will be going back to school in a few months. I made it through the middle of the second day before I began planning all of the other things I have to tackle before I can really put this whole application process behind me:
Other Things I Should Do:
wow. it has all been worth it. All of it, the moment I saw the “510″ number on my phone. I’m IN!
GO BEARS!
I both love and hate how much of my life is based on unknown, changeable plans. Yes, I bought into this when I stepped on the consulting bandwagon years ago. But I don’t think “change” is something you can ever get used to – I for one, still struggle with the ‘normalcy’ of constantly not knowing where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing this time next month. And recently, it’s not by month, but by week. And this is happening on several fronts:
Work
Since I’ve come home from my international engagement 4 weeks ago, I’ve been sitting around (or ‘on the beach’ in Consulting terminology), waiting for an official start date on my next project, which keeps being delayed with the expectation that the contract will be signed “in a few days.” Because this project involves extensive travel to Seattle and South Africa, I’ve decided to postpone moving myself back home to New York until the project is over. And thus passed an entire month, upon which I look back and think about just how much I could have done with the time had I not been waiting by the hour to hop on a plane the next day.
With all this delay, I’ve seriously considered going to another project and beginning my move. Just as I am about to put my foot down on this decision, I received notice that YES the contract has been signed! What does this mean? That within 1-2 days, I should pack up my bags to spend the next entire month hopping between continents. But hey, this is no one’s fault – it was completely within my power to say no, to find another project. I actively chose this kind of lifestyle, really. And with this lifestyle, I also bought into being okay with having an extremely ‘flexible’ personal life, and having friends no longer expect me to show up to anything. But with these sacrifices, I’ve been able to travel around the world, work hand-in-hand with key players to make positive impacts, and most importantly, gain a personal perspective of today’s global landscape. And with this perspective, I’m able to confidently test, evaluate, and reformulate my own values. And this is the source of my love-hate relationship.
School
As if things aren’t confusing enough, I bring it upon myself to add a new dimension of stress by applying to schools this year. What I hate about the application process is more or less expected: months of studying for an exam that tests neither my management ability nor my career interests. Entire weekends spent with eyes glued to my laptop, writing and rewriting pages of application essays. If my job as a consultant had left any inkling of personal time, the applications took it away.
What I love about this whole process is less apparent, but valuable. In the months spent drafting pages of essays, I’ve been ‘forced’ by the application process to do a detailed and thorough evaluation of who I am, in every aspect, from every angle.
All of this. and so much more. Which makes it obvious as to why this application process is a complete headache, and yet, a valuable experience.
And now, as I pack my bags for a weekend interview on the West Coast, while waiting in anticipation for official news from the East Coast, I think about the ‘crazy’ lifestyle I’ve gotten myself into, and the irreversible amount that I’ve grown as a result.
Every year at about this time, I like to plop myself at a cafe and reflect on the year that’s about to come to a close. This year is no different, as I’ve definitely gone through quite a bit in 2007. However, it’s a bit nerve-wrecking trying to plan for 2008, as I’m currently waiting for several key decisions that will determine pretty much everything I do in the coming year. So my 2008 plans will temporarily assume that everything happens according to plan :)
2007 in Retrospect: Last year, I have…
2008 in Anticipation: This year, I will…
If all goes well, 2008 should be an amazing year :)
Completely shifting gears to begin another application is harder than I thought – I keep thinking about my previous applications and checking online status. So I took a full day off of doing absolutely nothing related to school.
As I began doing in-depth research on Haas, I was reminded again of how much I wanted to go to this school – in fact, it was this school that made me even begin thinking about business school…2 years ago. But merely thinking and daydreaming about it was so much easier – now that the application is tangibly in front of me, now that I’m personally talking with Haas students about their experiences, I can’t believe it’s actually happening. And true to my suspicions, the more I research on/hear about the school, the more I feel that I just have to be there. But I have several huge obstacles in my way – I’m a lot younger than their normal admitted pool, and I don’t have spectacular grades, the two things that I think matters to Haas more than they do for many other schools.
Which means, the essays are my only way of communicating to them how much going there means to me, without sounding like a desperate ball of emotions.
Oh boy, another several weeks of being holed up in my room.
I actually had to take a day off work today to complete it, but I am semi-officially done with my CBS application. “Semi” means that I will stare intently at my inbox and click that darn Submit button right when I get confirmation that my recommender has sent his form (which should be any day/hour now…)
I’ve noticed that people usually apply to 5-8 schools. I’ve chosen only 3, and really only want 2 of them – CBS, or Haas. It’s bi-polar – to match my personality.
After I made my final edits to the app, I got up, and realized that:
- I haven’t gone for a run for over a week
- I haven’t left the house for 2 days
- I haven’t showered in 3 days
- I have a pot belly
I call that extremely dedicated. or extremely disgusting.
I’ve been trying to put together a packet to send to my recommenders to help them put together good recommendations for me. The last two days’ worth of sitting in front of my computer and brainstorming self-gloating adjectives and descriptions is making me want to gouge my eyes out. It’s like a roller coaster ride – one minute, I feel extremely qualified and just know that I’m a perfect choice for the schools; the next, I am asking myself – who am I kidding?! I’m such a slacker!
And I’m rushing myself trying to get all this done by October, so I can start on my other two schools. Let’s revisit this – this means that I have from now to the end of the month, exactly three (3) weeks to…
I should be tearing my hair out. But I’m surprisingly calm, hopefully in a good way. I’m basically crossing my fingers and counting on the last half of the month, because the country is celebrating Ramadan, meaning work ends at 3pm every day. But this is under the assumption that when I get home, I would actually, dutifully, sit down and write.
Augh. I need a drink. Oh wait, no drinking in this country.
I’ve been out of school and living it up in the corporate world for several years now. For the past year, I’ve been thinking about going back to school, but could never get my act together to really decide on it. Ironically, now that I’m on the other side of the world, working in a completely different country and in a completely inconvenient position to be thinking about school, I’ve somehow convinced myself that not only am I going to back to school, I will be applying. Now. I totally should have knocked myself out of it when I had the chance, but now that I’ve wasted so much time thinking and planning and daydreaming, I’m afraid I’ve already gone to the deep end.
So this means that I’ve sworn off fun for the next two months, as I will be sitting at home pulling teeth to write essays after essays about how amazing I am. Exhilarating. So the plan is:
Oh boy. Here goes nothing.
